Every step of my journey has brought
me to this present moment.
Healing and Awakening
For most of my adult life I have been interested in healing and awakening and I have devoted myself to the study and practice of both psychotherapy and spirituality. For 26 years I practiced as a spiritually oriented psychotherapist, supervisor and teacher to students and interns at the California Institute of Integral Studies. Eventually however I was called to shift my offering away from psychotherapist and teacher to a more explicitly spiritual role; dedicating my work to supporting people in discovering their True Nature and essential wholeness. This support took the form of one-on-one mentoring sessions, spiritually oriented groups, courses and workshops, as well as leading day-long and multi-day retreats. In these various formats different aspects of me were able to come forward as needed: Healer, Teacher, and Guide.
My Greatest Teacher
And then in August of 2023 a bomb went off in my life, one that has radically transformed who I am, and challenged me to crystalize what I am here to offer: I was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer. Today, about a year and quarter later, I am grateful to be alive. I am grateful to still be healthy enough to live my purpose. I am grateful for the ways in which my heart has been broken wide open. I am grateful for the way in which my illusion of certainty has been stripped away, and I have been left with the fierce liberation of ’don’t know’.
With this diagnosis I have completely stepped back from my one-to-one work — which had been the bulk of my work life before — and shifted my offering to occasional groups and spiritual retreats. This shift has allowed me to focus my and energies on healing my body, and in the process opening to the profound teacher that this diagnosis has become for me. I can truly say that cancer has become my greatest teacher. By far, the time since my diagnosis have been the most radical time of growth and transformation in my life. I have been humbled and cracked open emotionally like never before. I have been taken to depths and heights previously unseen. All my spiritual understanding and practices have been tested beyond anything previously seen.
I now live daily with great uncertainty, and my life has become completely revolutionized. I am aware of the preciousness of each day like never before — each one is a gift, not to be taken for granted. I no longer have the ‘solid ground’ of certainty to comfort me, I live with a radical acceptance of impermanence; I relate to my future with this daily mantra: “Don’t know, can’t know, don’t need to know”. The groundless ground of open awareness is my refuge.
My Human Teachers
Along with my greatest teacher that is cancer, I have also been blessed with many wonderful human teachers and influences. Foremost among these are:
Adyashanti
Adyashanti has been my main spiritual teacher for many years. In a sense, I could probably say that much of what I offer today is the essence of his teachings distilled through my own understanding and applied in a relational and healing context. In April 2023 he gave me his blessing and support to teach and share the dharma with others. To learn more about this Dharma Transmission, click HERE.
Learn more about Adyashanti at Adyashanti.org
John Prendergast, PhD.
John has been the mentor and teacher that has influenced me and my work the most. His seamless and elegant synthesis of nondual spiritual understanding with psychological theory and practice are the bedrock from which my own understanding has grown.
Learn more about John at listeningfromsilence.com
Looking Forward
I look forward to continuing to offer periodic groups and retreats as long as this body will allow, and am deeply grateful for the immense love and support that has poured in (and continues to pour in) since cancer has been unexpectedly laid upon the altar of my life.